


We Sell Paper

by Kyra



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Alcohol, Co-workers, Daydreaming, Early Days, Early in Canon, Episode Related, Episode Tag, Female Friendship, Ficlet Collection, Friendship, Gen, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Minor Character(s), Office Party, Platonic Relationships, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-10-12
Updated: 2014-09-13
Packaged: 2018-02-17 07:07:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2300840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyra/pseuds/Kyra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That is our building... and we sell paper.  Dunder Mifflin's people, remixed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Five futures Kelly Kapoor imagines for herself

**Author's Note:**

> Once upon a time, I wrote A LOT of Office fanfic. Here are a bunch of the shorter pieces, divided into chapters. 
> 
> All set during seasons 1-3. Most were written in response to an auto-generated list of all potential character combinations, which is the kind of thing just asking for _CHALLENGE ACCEPTED_ -style crackfic.
> 
> You can jump between stories [on the full-page index](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2300840/navigate). As per extremely old usenet conventions, slashes between names indicate it's (somewhat) 'shippy (if you squint), ampersands means a gen pairing.

**Five futures Kelly Kapoor imagines for herself**

  1. She could be a corporate bigwig like Jan, and have really nice clothes like that. Although probably with a little more color. She bets Jan has a really great apartment in New York, the kind that looks like something out of a magazine, except kind of sad and unlived in, and when she ordered drinks at bars people would be intrigued by how sad and mysterious she looked, like she had a storied past, or had made the wrong choices and been unlucky in love.  
  
She'd travel around to all the company branches in a car with satellite radio, sweeping in and out of people's lives, and all the managers would have secret crushes on her, but she definitely, definitely wouldn't make out with any of them.    
 
  2. It's not totally impossible that someday Brad Pitt will be in Scranton filming something on location, or maybe she'll be out in California on vacation sometime and they'll bump into each other at Starbucks and he'll accidentally spill his drink on her and even though she says oh, no, Brad, that's okay, he'll feel so bad he'll invite her out with his friends that night and end up totally falling for her.  
  
She'll make him suffer a little, as payment for what he did to Jennifer Aniston, but in the end she'll completely move out to live with him in LA or Africa or wherever... but hopefully LA. Angelina will have left him to go dig wells or maybe hook up with George Clooney to see how ridiculously good-looking a baby she can have, and all the magazines will have rumors about how she secretly hates Kelly, who'll have to nurse Brad's wounded heart back to health. It could totally happen. After all Nic Cage married that waitress, right?  

  3. Maybe her mom will get her way and Kelly will marry some Indian guy from a good family but maybe he'll want her to cook a lot of traditional food all the time and he won't understand that it's really important to have an SUV instead of a minivan and his mother will want to live with them and tell her how to raise the kids.  
  

  4. One of these days Ryan is going to actually call her for once and that will be the turning point: he'll realize that she's fun to hang out with (she always plays those drinking games with his friends, after all) and he'll tell her she looks pretty when she's bought a whole new outfit and they'll go away for the weekend or something and eventually he'll take her out to dinner somewhere super nice with mood lighting and he'll ask her to marry him and she'll cry and everyone in the restaurant will clap when she says yes and she'll get to buy bridal magazines and they'll find a house, something cute that they can fix up together, and when she tells him she's pregnant he'll look so, so happy and their kids will be absolutely gorgeous and he'll hold her hand in the supermarket and come home to her every night.  
 
  5. The one where she never gets married and she turns into a spinster and Ryan's temp contract expires and Toby quits and Pam and Phyllis quit and she works at Dunder Mifflin forever.




	2. Nine to Five - [Ryan & Meredith]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for alcohol abuse.

_"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." (Drew Carey)_

 --

Ryan has now been temping at Dunder Mifflin for ... well, he has a strict policy never to actually think about how many months it's been, lest he want to kill himself before noon. It's a long time, though. Long enough that he has his own desk and his routines and nobody ever refers to him as the new guy anymore.

The temp agency extends its contracts four weeks at a time; every time they do, Ryan lets himself pretend that this is the last four weeks, that when it expires it won't get renewed.

Every four weeks they call back. Every four weeks he says, "Um... yeah, okay," into his phone. Every four weeks his rent is due. Coincidence?

When Michael first assigned Ryan this desk he said it would be just, you know, for the time being. Until they saw how it worked out. Meredith glanced up without lifting her head and then back down at whatever it is she does. Ryan didn't say hi when he sat down.

**

Ryan usually doesn't have that much to do -- even with the fact that everyone likes to dump their crappiest jobs on him. Lots of spreadsheets with really old data he has to track down. Lots of filing -- he's got an impressive array of papercuts to show for it.

The worst is Angela, who insists on standing over him while he files old invoices in the accounting cabinet to make sure he puts papers in the front of each folder, not the back, since that way lies filing madness, apparently.

"The apostrophe in O'Ryan's means it's at the beginning of the Os, not after the Ops," she's saying loudly over his shoulder one morning, when Meredith turns around and glares hard enough that even Angela crosses her arms, looking unsettled. She clears her throat.

"I'll be at my desk," she says to him. "Tell me if you have any questions."

Ryan nods his thanks at Meredith, who almost-not-quite smiles before she turns back around.

**

Ryan's not stupid. He knows what's in Meredith's Big Gulp cup most days (though not all -- he doesn't think).

He wonders if she'd share.

**

Meredith has all these snowglobes on her desk. One particularly endless Wednesday afternoon, Ryan reaches across and picks one up before he even thinks. It's, like, a tiny log cabin with a choir of tiny, plastic people standing in front of it. It's cheap plastic, and the paint that's supposed to indicate their faces is stamped on a little crooked. All their tiny red mouths are open in soundless, frozen "O"s. Ryan shakes the globe and all the fake snow rushes up and comes back down inside their sealed plastic universe.

When he looks up, Meredith is looking at him.

"Oh, uh, sorry," he says, and puts it back quickly. She shrugs. Ryan swivels back and forth in his chair.

**

Ryan is never, ever drinking again. He means it this time. Ever. Just because Thursday is almost Friday is almost the weekend is not a good reason to go out and stay out until the bars close, no matter what his friends say, no matter how drunk and peer pressure-y they are. Ryan closes his eyes and concentrates on breathing slowly and deeply through his nose. He wonders how quickly he can get to the bathroom if he has to. Depends on if Dwight has his chair pushed back or not.

When he opens his eyes, Meredith is looking at him sympathetically, rummaging in one of her drawers. She takes out a bottle of pills and shakes three out.

"Here," she says, standing up a little in her seat so she can reach far enough to set them on his desk. Ryan blinks at them dumbly. His mouth tastes disgusting.

"No one's in the kitchen," Meredith says. "If you want to take those with water."

Ryan reaches out and grabs the pills and stands up. Okay.

"Thanks," he says, and wanders off. His head.

When he gets back, there's a bottle of off-brand Gatorade and two restaurant packets of Saltines on his desk and Meredith is on the phone and not looking at him.

**

Ryan knows he probably shouldn't -- that's like his catchphrase lately -- but when he's at the liquor store buying beer, he tosses a couple of nips in the bag at the register.

He puts them in the top drawer of Meredith's desk when she's in the bathroom and forgets about it 'til she opens her drawer later in the day. Without moving his head he can see her look around the office, then at him, then back down into the drawer. She shuts it quickly, and gets a pen out of the next drawer down instead. Ryan reloads his e-mail.


	3. Fruity and Delicious - [Karen & Kelly]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Birthday ficlet for fiorie, who requested Karen and Kelly during A Benihana Christmas (s3). Here's to another year of being super awesome!

This is Karen's third -- or fourth? -- drink tonight, and it might be the best one yet.

"These really ARE good," Karen says, and Kelly beams. It doesn't make sense that she should be able to mix together a slushie and cheap liquor better than anyone else here, but apparently it's true.

"So what's your secret?" Karen asks, taking another sip. Kelly shrugs.

"I don't know," she says. "I guess I just make awesome drinks."

"Well, here's to awesome drink skills," Karen says, and clinks cups with Kelly.

Over Kelly's shoulder, through the kitchen window, she can see Halpert talking to one of the accountants -- Kevin? -- while Darryl does karaoke. He hasn't come looking for her all day, and she hates how that makes her feel. It's so stupid. And Pam's off somewhere talking to that hot warehouse guy with the beard.

"So how come you're not on the party planning committee?" Karen asks, to distract herself. Which is both boring and drama-filled but apparently she's close enough to loaded that she's lost her filter.

"Well, um, I was a long time ago, when I first started, but then Angela said that there were too many people on the committee already and maybe I should just contribute to events by attending them, you know, if it suited me," Kelly says, frowning. "Which doesn't even make sense, because after that she--"

"Yeah, she kicked me off, too," Karen says, and raises her drink again. "To being party planning committee exiles!"

Kelly giggles and clinks her cup with Karen's again, sloshing it a little.

"You're funny," she says. Her eyes widen. "Oh my god, so, you have to tell me, did you ever hook up with that guy Martin? Because he was totally cute. Hey, finish that, we can refill and then I have to do my karaoke specialty. I think everyone needs, like, three or four really good karaoke standbys, you know? Not that you should be afraid to try new songs." Karen blinks and drains her glass and Kelly takes Karen's cup out of her hand without pausing to take a breath, and after she's made them both new drinks, Kelly links arms with Karen and makes her go look at the karaoke book with her.

It's the nicest anyone's been to her since she moved here, besides Pam. Which is why Karen doesn't tell Kelly when Ryan tries to kiss her under the mistletoe Michael made Dwight tape up all over the office. (He half-misses and gets her cheek and the corner of her mouth, sloppily. "...sorry," he says, and shakes his head as if to clear it.)

Karen does tell Pam, after swearing her to secrecy. Pam's eyes get wide and she laughs really hard against the back of her hand, and as far as Karen knows, never tells anyone.

It's snowing when Karen leaves, and she takes her time bundling up in the lobby in case Jim comes down -- she'd kind of like to peg him with a snowball for more than one reason -- but he doesn't. Kelly does, though, as Karen's picking her way to her car, and makes Karen promise to text her.

"Hey, good party," someone says behind her as she's exchanging numbers with Kelly. It's the HR guy, wearing a beige hat with a pom pom on it.

"Yeah, this was totally the best Christmas party ever," Kelly says, and Karen smiles and hits 'save' on her phone.


	4. National Boss Day - [Pam & Bob Vance]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during season 3.

October 16 is National Boss Day. Pam groans to herself when she comes in and sees it on the calendar. On a Monday this year? That's cruel and inhuman punishment, if anything is.

Not like she needed the calendar to call it to her attention: Michael comes in beaming and drops a Rite-Aid bag on her desk.

"Pam, good morning," he says. "Could you make sure that gets taken care of? Sent around?" In the bag is a "Best Boss Ever!" card, blank on the inside, except for "Dear Michael" written in ballpoint at the top, in Michael's handwriting. Pam sighs and finds the folder they use to send around birthday cards for signatures. 

Pam's not sure if this would be quite so annoying if they actually did anything for Secretary's Day, too -- or, rather, Administrative Professionals Day, which is what the calendars say now. Last year she and Jim had made up a list of other, even more PC ways to phrase it: Reception Technician, Fax Operation Consultant, Vice Chancellor of Minutes.

Michael comes to the door of his office three minutes after he first went in, hands clasped behind his back.

"Ryan?" he says. Ryan swivels around in his chair without missing a beat in his phone conversation, and points at the headset. Since getting hired, he's gotten way better at avoiding Michael: Pam can't tell if it's because he's not a temp anymore so can claim having actual work to do, or experience and sheer desperation.

"Fine," Michael says, "uh, Dwight? Can I see you for a minute?"

Dwight comes back out of Michael's office ten minutes later with a handful of lurid gold streamers, which he proceeds to Scotch tape over Michael's office door.

"Uh, I think that's enough," Pam says after he layers a fifth piece of tape on the top corner. Dwight frowns over at her, but steps back to admire his handiwork.

By lunch, Michael's already made her send out an e-mail telling the staff he's instituting an open door policy for the day, for people to come talk to-slash-compliment him about his managerial skills, and Angela's snatched the card folder out of Pam's hand with a glare, when she brought it by. Pam grabs her salad from the fridge and escapes.

She always used to take her lunch at noon, because that's when Roy got his lunch, and after he stopped coming up regularly to eat with her, she and Jim were just in the habit. She's trying to wait until later in the day these days, so the afternoon seem shorter: she can make it all the way to 12:20 now.

It's too chilly to sit outside in her skirt, and last time she did she got a weird, dirty look from Lonny when he walked by, so she heads to the empty building unit. They found out last year that the lock on it doesn't work, and it still hasn't been rented out. Pam's foosteps echo on the bare floor, as she heads over to the windowsill and opens her salad. The space in here always makes her think about rollerskating. Jim said they should rob a bank and use the money to make it into a VIP roller rink.

Outside the leaves are starting to turn, so the trees are all green and brown and orange. Pam watches the traffic go by and listens to herself chew. Too bad her Prism Durosport's been totally broken for six months.

She's almost done when the door to the unit opens, and she jumps so hard she almost falls off the windowsill. It's Bob Vance, who stops when he sees her.

"Oh!" he says. "I didn't know anyone was in here." He starts to back out. "I can come back later."

"Oh, no, no," Pam says. "I was just eating lunch. Um, I'm finished now." She starts gathering up her napkin, her soda can. Bob steps in and lets the door close behind him.

"I just wanted to take a look around at the unit," he says. "We're thinking of maybe moving over here."

"Oh, really?" says Pam. "It's, um, bigger, right?"

Bob nods, before poking his head into a closet.

"Yep," he says. "The refrigeration business is treating us well."

"Well, that's ... good," Pam says, standing up. Bob wanders over to the other window and looks out, nodding to himself.

"Love that view," he says. "We just see the highway over on the other side."

"Yeah," Pam says. He glances over at her.

"It's Pam, right?"

Pam nods, and tips her head in the general direction of the office.

"Yeah, um, I work over at Dunder MIfflin." He smiles.

"Oh, I know. Phyllis tells me nice things about her work friends." Pam blushes -- it's weird to think about them talking about her. She's always hated thinking about what people might say about her behind her back. It's been a bad year for it.

"Oh, congratulations!" she says suddenly. "By the way. For the engagement."

Bob's whole face lights up, and it makes Pam's chest tight.

"Thank you!" he says. "Couldn't be more thrilled."

Pam takes a few sideways steps toward the door, and he follows.

"Phyllis seems really happy," Pam says, and Bob smiles even more.

"We're gonna have the shower next month, I think," he says. "You're coming, right?"

"Oh!" says Pam. "Um, sure." Bob smiles again and looks at her consideringly for a moment. Pam feels like she's under the microscope again. He had been Phyllis's plus-one for the wedding. He'd asked for chicken.

"You're a good girl, Pam," he says, as they get to the door, and gives her shoulder a quick, one-armed squeeze. Pam feels herself go red, and stammers out a thank you, as he holds the door to let her go through first. It's weird and unexpected, but she catches herself smiling a little as she goes back in to work, and when Phyllis comes over to use the copy machine she gives her a wider smile.

It almost makes up for Dwight coming over to tell her hairspray in the workplace is a safety hazard, or the giant HAPPY BOSSES'S DAY cookie Michael gets delivered from that place at the mall that afternoon, and then promptly drops all over the floor.


	5. outer space without the stars - [Andy & Dwight]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy. Dwight. Set at the end of season 3, post-The Job, when Andy and Dwight painted the walls of the manager's office black, to instill fear.

  
_Andy: It's like staring into my soul, when I look at this wall._   
_Dwight: It's like outer space without the stars, it's so black._   
_Andy: This is gonna look so awesome!_   
_Dwight: It's so intimidating! Anyone who comes in here... is gonna have to take me seriously. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!_   
_Andy: Totally!_

\--

Andy and Dwight repaint Michael's office on Saturday morning. Turns out it takes a lot of coats of paint to turn jet black into pea soup green. It's May and when they open all the windows for ventilation, the air that comes in is warm and just a little humid.  
  
" _Summertime.......... and the livin' is eee-EE-asy,_ " Andy sings while he paints. He doesn't mind being at work on a weekend; sometimes you have to go above and beyond to show that you're star material, and he knows Michael will see that. Even if he cut Andy off when he started explaining when he and Dwight were going to come in and told him to stop being boring and just get it done. (That was the day Michael spent the whole afternoon staring mournfully at the copy of his condo key he'd just had made, while thinly telling everyone how awesome it was going to be to have a live-in girlfriend.)  
  
Besides, it's not like there's a whole lot to do in Scranton on a Saturday morning otherwise. Ultimate Frisbee teams are pretty thin on the ground in the old PA, and those guys at the rec center are jerks anyway.  
  
"Andy," snaps Dwight from the other wall. "No singing."  
  
"Righto," says Andy. "My bad. Your choice, any requests?"  
  
"No," says Dwight. "We work in silence." Andy watches his own roller go up and down the wall, leaving little spongey marks behind. The breeze through the open window makes the blinds clack, and he concentrates on not humming.  
  
 _"T-t-teacher stop that screaming, teacher don't you see?"_ says Dwight suddenly. And by says, Andy means sings. His eyebrows go up and he looks over his shoulder at Dwight, who's standing on a chair and painting along the untaped ceiling (according to Dwight, painter's tape is for the weak).  
  
 _"Don't wanna be no uptown fool,"_ Dwight sings and Andy knows his cue to join in when he hears it.  
  
 _"Maybe I should go to hell. But I'm doin' well."_ He bobs his roller in time, which makes paint splatter a little on the rug (he rubs it in with his toe) and his Cornell t-shirt (good thing he has spares). _"Teacher needs to see me after school."_ He harmonizes at the end, which makes Dwight glare a little through his glasses. That guy needs to learn to appreciate the vocal arts.  
  
They go through the rest of Andy's Van Halen repertoire while they work, the green covering up the black, sunlight glinting off their windshields in the parking lot.


	6. Five Reasons Pam's a Whore, According to Angela

**Five Reasons Pam's a Whore, According to Angela**

  1. She's living with a man she's not married to. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?  

  2. Once in the bathroom at work Angela was washing her hands and Pam was rummaging through her purse and she said, "Hey, um, Angela, do you have a tampon?"  

  3. In the summer she wears short sleeve shirts with scoop necks that let you see her collarbones, and every once in a while her bra strap slips down so everyone can see it for a moment before she shrugs it back into place. Pink or blue or green.  

  4. One morning Angela came into work early and found Pam sitting on Roy's lap at reception, her hands in his hair, his hand creeping up her leg, under the hem of her skirt, and they didn't stop kissing until she cleared her throat pointedly.  

  5. Because right now Michael is out of the office for lunch and Pam is sitting on the edge of Jim's desk, swinging her legs and laughing while she leans over to watch him play his PSP and he's calling her by her last name and trading insults without looking up and it's just shameful, is what it is.




	7. Cage Match - [Jim/Dwight]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set at the end of season 2, during Conflict Resolution.

_**Jim** : Dwight tried to kiss me. _  
 _ **Michael** : What? _  
 _ **Jim** : And I didn’t tell anyone because I’m not really sure how I feel about it._  
 _ **Dwight Schrute** : That is not true. Redact it. Redact it! _  
 _ **Jim Halpert** : Well, I’m not actually making a formal complaint. I just really think we should talk about it._  


**\--**

After Michael pays the photographer for the last shot of their group picture, Dwight goes to his desk to make the daily notes on Jim's behavior that he compiles for every Friday's appointment with Toby.

He's flipping open the notebook when he remembers that that's not an option anymore. He's going to have to take care of things himself from now on. He sets down his pen.

"Jim," he says loudly, "I did not try to kiss you and we both know it."

Jim looks over as his computer makes the shutdown noise.

"What?"

"Telling lies about people is unprofessional. And it is immature. And I won't stand for it."

Jim is looking over at reception, where Pam is pulling on her coat and not looking over at them. She walks out quickly, head down, even though it's only 4:56. Dwight makes a mental note.

"Are you listening to me, Jim?" says Dwight, and Jim finally glances over.

"WHAT... are you talking about?" he says, standing up.

"This morning, when Michael had the file, you told the whole office that I tried to kiss you, which is a blatant falsehood--"

Jim makes a face.

"Are you honestly telling me you don't remember?" He slings his bag over his shoulders.

"Of course I don't remember, because there's nothing to remember," says Dwight, following him.

"Well," says Jim. "It was pretty early in the morning. Have you ever been known to sleepwalk?"

Dwight glances quickly back at Angela's desk as they walk out.

"No," he says, "Schrutes never do anything without knowing about it."

They round the corner and Jim pushes the button for the elevator.

"Well," says Jim. "There has to be some explanation for it, is all I'm saying."

"An explanation for what?" says Dwight.

"You and me ... here in the elevator, last week ....." Jim raises his eyebrows. The doors ding as they open.

"No," says Dwight. "I'm always here before you, anyway." Jim pushes the button for the ground floor and Dwight reaches in front of him to punch the door close button.

"Yeah, that's what was weird about it," says Jim. "But we were in the elevator and you got all, you know, touchy."

"Touchy?" says Dwight. "That is such a lie. You are a liar and that's why you'll never get anywhere in life, Jim."

Jim's jaw clenches and he looks over at Dwight sharply.

"Well, you're the one who comes on to people in elevators, Dwight." He puts a hand on Dwight's chest and Dwight's so startled his superior reflexes don't kick in and he steps back to the side of the elevator without thinking. Jim moves with him. "You're the one who claims not to remember that moment we shared." He's standing really close -- invasion of Dwight's personal space. Dwight glares. "Memory loss? Denial?"

The elevator settles to the ground and after a long moment the doors slide open and Jim steps back, his face smoothing out and he tilts his head.

"I'm just saying, maybe you want to get that checked out."

He turns and saunters out and Dwight stands staring after him. Yet another example of why he can't possibly be expected to work with Jim any more. He's sure Michael will see it. Eventually.

"Stamford!" he yells when Jim gets to the corner. "Transfer!" and Jim waves him off without looking back


	8. 100 Iced Macchiatos A Day - [Ryan/Kelly]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ryan/Melissa Hudson, Ryan/Kelly. Melissa is Stanley's 8th grade daughter from Take Your Daughter to Work Day (s2).

_I drink like, 100 iced macchiatos a day and practically nothing else. There's a really cool coffee place, Jitters, at the Steamtown Mall. You ever been there? -- Melissa to Ryan_

\-- 

Melissa finds Ryan's MySpace after school on Tuesday. That's how she knows that he's 26 and he likes Chex Mix and Lolita.

"Ohmigod, he is way cute," says Lacey when she calls to show it to her.

Melissa takes her picture off her MySpace and changes her age to say 102 years old before she sends a friend request and it totally works. She has to wait 'til her stepmom stops ordering clothes online before she can get on the computer, but when she does he's added her and there's a comment from him that says "um, hi?"

Melissa sends back a message about how he really has to try one of those iced macchiatos, because she doesn't know how people live without them and also that she totally guessed he was a Leo. She leaves three more comments by the end of the week but he doesn't write back to any of them even though she can SEE that he's logged on every day. On Friday when she checks it he's changed his status from "Single" to "In a Relationship". Melissa closes Internet Explorer and slams out into the living room and flips through channels until she finds a Punk'd rerun. She turns the volume all the way up until her dad looks up from his stupid crossword puzzle.

"And just what is your problem?" he asks and she turns the tv back down three bars.

"Nothing," she says.

**

At 4:53, Ryan goes to the bathroom and Kelly sits down in his chair because she's sure he won't mind. Creed is doing something weird in his desk drawer and doesn't even look up. Ryan's browser is minimized but when she clicks on it it opens up to his MySpace. She's already seen it, of course, but today when she scrolls down to his details it says "In a Relationship" and she can feel herself beaming. She totally and completely knew that Ryan would come around. This is so official.


	9. Gnarls Barkley in Scranton, PA - [Angela/Gil, Oscar/Gil]

Oscar comes back into the house three minutes after he left for work. Gil looks up, surprised, from his cereal.

"My car won't start," says Oscar. "And I'm going to be late. Can you drive me?"

The air conditioning in Gil's car is on the fritz again so they drive to the office park with the windows rolled down. It's getting muggy even this early in the morning and Oscar rests his arm on the open window and fiddles with the radio. Gil yawns as they sit at a stop light but stops when Oscar switches the station to one that's playing that song about being crazy.

"Ooh, leave it here," he says and starts mouthing the lyrics and Oscar tries not to smile.

He tenses up when they pull into the parking lot, though. In a perfect world, Gil would be as far away from work and Michael and the cameras as humanly possible. The next state would be too close, really.

Gil taps on the steering wheel with his thumbs as Oscar unfastens his belt and turns around to fumble in the back seat for his briefcase. He's still backwards when he looks up through the back window and groans.

"What?" says Gil, turning around to look.

"Angela," says Oscar, nodding to where she's locking up her car.

"Oh, I want to see!" says Gil, craning his neck.

"No, don't--" says Oscar. She's walking toward the building now, and it'll take her right past them.

"Wait, *that's* Angela?" says Gil, just as Angela glances over, pauses, and looks again. She changes her path and starts walking toward them. This is so not okay.

"... Gil?" she says as she gets close enough to peer in the driver's window.

"Angela!" says Gil, his voice a little too high. "Um, hi, wow. How are you?"

"I'm fine," says Angela, and pauses. Beat, beat. "It's been a long time."

"Oh, yeah," says Gil, and Oscar finally gets his briefcase unstuck and gets out of the car as quickly as he can.

"Well, thank you for the ride," he says, and Angela straightens up and looks at him over the roof of the car.

"No problem," says Gil. "Um, bye. Bye Angela."

"Bye," says Angela and she and Oscar stand and watch Gil turn the car around and drive away.

"My next door neighbor," says Oscar briskly. "My car broke down this morning."

Angela looks over at him and turns to walk inside. He follows.

"We went to high school together," she volunteers as they show the security guard their badges.

"Oh!" says Oscar, with something like relief. "Small world, I guess."

In the elevator, Angela pushes the button for the second floor and clears her throat.

"If you must know," she says. "We went out a few times."

Oscar chokes as the doors slide closed. There's something almost like approval in Angela's voice.

"He was always a perfect gentleman."


	10. Blushingham Palace - [Katy & Kelly]

"Ohmigod, Toby," says Kelly. "Don't you think the girl with the purses is super pretty? I like her hair. Why don't I have hair like that?"

"Um," says Toby.

"Maybe I should buy a purse," says Kelly, looking through the windows of the conference room. Michael is talking to the purse girl. She laughs uncomfortably and looks around like maybe someone will show up to save her. "Ohmigod, I think I see a pink one."

Kelly goes in after Michael leaves and looks at the purses. The purse girl smiles at her and her teeth are white and even. She asks if Kelly's looking for anything in particular.

"Oh, I don't know," says Kelly. "I'm Kelly, by the way."

"Hi, I'm Katy," she says, offering her hand, and Kelly shakes it. Katy moisturizes well.

"Ohmigod, is that OPI Blushingham Palace?" she says and Katy looks down at her nail polish, surprised.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"I saw it in Cosmo last month!" says Kelly.

"Oh, cool!" says Katy. Kelly smiles. She's extra glad she wore her new eye shadow today.


	11. A Very Dinkin' Flicka Christmas - [Darryl & Michael]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Episode tag for Christmas Party (season 2).

It's a good thing Darryl's this drunk or Michael being a total freak would be weirding him out even more. Somehow he managed to grab the seat right next to Darryl at Poor Richard's and he's sitting just a little too close. Drunk, he's weirdly quiet, but he keeps reaching up to touch the Santa hat Darryl's still wearing. Darryl shifts in his seat so he's even closer to Roy on his other side. Roy looks up from his beer.

"What's up?"

Darryl shakes his head. "Nothing."

"Hey man," says Michael. He's swaying a little in his seat. "I just wanted to say I'm sor-- I mean, about the hat thing, um. Sorry about that."

"'s cool, man," Darryl says. "Don't worry about it."

"So are we, you know," Michael lowers his voice. "Dinkin' flicka?"

Darryl bites his lip hard to keep from laughing.

"Yeah, we're dinkin' flicka."

Michael nods seriously. "Good. Good good."

His attention drifts over to where Todd Packer is saying something that makes the redheaded chick guffaw and the temp look awkwardly out the window, where it's still snowing. Darryl shakes his head and calls for another drink.


End file.
